The Best Chili Ever Recipe

1 pound dried dark red kidney beans
Kosher salt
4 quarts water
3 whole Ancho, Pasilla, or Mulato chilies, seeded, and torn into rough 1-inch pieces (about 1/2 ounce)
2 whole New Mexico red, California, Costeño, or Choricero chilies, seeded, and torn into rough 1-inch pieces (about 1/8 ounce)
1 whole Cascabel, Arbol, or Pequin chili, seeded, and torn in half
5 pounds bone-in beef short rib, trimmed of silverskin and excess fat
Freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 quart low-sodium chicken broth (preferably home made), divided
2 whole anchovy filets
1 teaspoon marmite
2 teaspoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 1/2 tablespoons whole cumin seeds, toasted, then ground
1 1/2 teaspoons whole coriander seeds, toasted, then ground
2 whole cloves, toasted and ground
1 star anise, toasted and ground
1 tablespoon extra-finely ground coffee beans
1 ounce chopped unsweetened chocolate
1 large yellow onion, diced fine (about 1.5 cups)
3 fresh Thai bird chiles or 1 jalapeño, finely chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced (about 1 tablespoon)
1 tablespoon dried oregano leaves
2 bay leaves
1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
1/4 cup cider vinegar, plus more to taste
1/4 cup vodka or bourbon
1 tablespoon Buffalo-style hot sauce, such as Franks RedHot (or more to taste)
2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
For the Garnish (all suggestions optional):>
Scallions, sliced fine
Cheddar, Jack, or Colby cheese, grated
Sour cream
Jalapeño or poblano peppers, diced and seeded
Onion, diced
Avocado, diced
Saltines
Fritos