Make the dressing: Mix the mayonnaise,lemon juice, lemon zest, curry powder, cumin, cayenne pepper, and black pepper in a medium bowl. Press or grate the garlic into the bowl and mix to combine. Add water to thin as desired. Season with salt to taste.
Partially mash the chickpeas with a fork, leaving some whole for texture. (Aim for about three-quarters mashed.)
Mix: Transfer the mashed chickpeas, celery red onion, green onion, and cilantro to a large bowl. Add the desired amount of dressing and mix to combine.
For serving: Make curried chickpea salad sandwiches, lettuce wraps, stuffed pita pockets, or serve with whole grain croakers for a healthy snack.